MoPod Show 2.0 - Gay Comedy Podcast

It has been about a week since Baltimore Pride and I wanted to take some time to reminisce about the amazing time that I had while in Baltimore.

•  I really enjoyed going to DC with Ruphus and Big Mo Daddy on Thursday 6-19.  The day was filled with fancy free fun of sight seeing as well as feasting on some of the best chinese food I have ever eaten as well as feasting my eyes on some very well built college runners at the university.  I think they were aware of me checking them out, as I removed my sunglasses as they passed by so I could see better.   Unfortunately, we got trapped on the train coming back from DC since the one ahead of us was “broke down” on the track.  Since I am very “nosey” I kept my ears open and listened to a large man describe himself as a “metro leather bear” to someone on the phone.  This of coarse peaked my interest since I like to watch and catalogue the strange, rare, and unusual creatures of the gay world.  I am still unclear if he is “metro sexual” or if he is more a less a bear that ride the “metro”…..hmmmm.  An interesting part was when the metro leather bear described an encounter with a mutual acquaintance he had with the person on the other end of the phone.  He said, “he just reached in my pants like he wanted me to smack somethin up on his lip!”  I never grow tired on hearing new lingo…I’ll have to use that some time!
• The next day (Friday 6-20) was when the real shenanigans started.  Faggoty Andy and his East Coast circle of friends met up with Uncle Ruphus, Big Mo Daddy and myself.  We had a great deal of drunken debauchery around B’More.  We went to the Phoenix for a wet underwear contest.  I think the turn out would have been better had the prize been more than a $20 bar tab….don’t they know that will only last most queens about thirty minutes!  But the chubby bear cub conquered the twink in an upset that can only be described as wonderful.  I am sure the cute twink wins all kinds of things already.  After The Phoenix, we headed over to Central where more drinking ensued.  I do admit I wish I had more of my whits about me and dropped my phone number in a certain person’s hands.  Oh well, lessons learned:  ”Never miss an opportunity to drunkenly stumble over and come on to someone….they may think  you are a mess, but you will never say “what if” again”  After Central, we continued to drink at a new found friends hotel suite until we all stumbled home later.
• Saturday (6-21) was amazing.  Dangina and Commandrew rode the double happiness express rickshaw bus from New York to Baltimore.  Almost immediately we were drinking.  I know what you are all probably thinking…”Are these bitches alcoholics or what?”  My answer would be, Only at Gay Pride.  We were all invited over to an awesome party at our friend Larry’s house (aka The gay Kool-Aid man).  His house is amazing and well stocked with liquor.  Thanks for the great time Larry!  We then proceeded to go to the parade.  I can only say it is bigger than Omaha’s parade.  Although, there are some strikingly similarities.  For example, Drag queens in convertibles.  Multiple Emperors and Empresses that you have never heard of with crowns and tiaras large enough to be their own radio tower.  I bet they get fantastic cell phone reception.  There are also many, many, many people without their shirts on.  This brings me to one of our Mopodshow survival guide tips.  ”Just because you can take your shirt off, doesn’t mean you should.”  Before I become too preachy with survival tips, we ourselves broke one of our own survival tips.  ”If a drag queen offers you candy…it ain’t candy”.  In this situation, it was actually jello shots.  Everything turned out fine, but wow what a risk.  One or all of us could have fell victim to a tranny gang bang…….shudder……  After the parade we of coarse continued our escapades and eventually ended up walking to the Eagle.  It will probably come to no surprise that in order to get to the Eagle in Baltimore, you have to go through a sketchy part of town.  I guess getting there is half the fun.  Once arriving there, I picked up a gift for Ruphus at the souvenir shop in the back.  No, it was not a postcard.  In addition to some of Faggoty Andy’s friends, we also had the company of Click Boo and Ben.  I was a little afraid of the Eagle, but we did run into our “Metro Leather Bear” from Thursday.  I guess I was not really surprised.  I did not see anyone trying to “smack something up on their lip”, but I suppose I might be glad I didn’t.  After leaving The Eagle, we began our long walk back through the wrong side of the tracks and came across a 24 hour fried chicken restaurant.  Oh my was it delicious.  I purchased a 10 piece along with a couple of sides.  We all devoured it rather fast while sitting on the stoop of a boarded up building.  An older woman named Gayle who came to us asking for money also joined in our feast.  I gave her a large piece to go with her after she ate her first.  She was so nice wishing us “God Bless” on her way down the street.  At some point and time after that, Clickboo and Ben left us, and we continued walking when we ran into some friends of Ruphus also walking.  I believe they were all from DC, including a cute Jewish guy that had been savagely attacked by an anti-semitic lesbian earlier that day.  O.K., that part was enhanced.  The lesbian tossed her beer bottle on top of a trash can that was overfull.  The bottle fell and broke, cutting the Jewish guy on the leg.  There was animosity, it was just an accident.  Unfortunately he did have to go to the hospital and get six stitches in his leg.  Ouch!  They all joined with us and we all hung out for a while.  I fell asleep in a chair and was later awaken by my phone ringing.  This woke up the cute Jewish guy and we then proceeded to find his friends.  After that, he left.