Pimple Tits
EDITORS NOTE: This is the first in what we hope will be a series of guest blogs from some of our favorite bloggers and podcast friends. This one comes from the Gay Sci Fi Nerds from the UK. Enjoy.
Trying to think of a good strap line to get your attention didn’t take us long for our first Gay Sci-Fi Nerds post for the Mopod Show. Drew likes the sound of “Pimple Tits and the Big Bad Puff” where as Skip was more into “Teen bitches who try to get their bim-boys into trouble at movie theatres”. So “what do you mean?” we hear all you asking.
We don’t need to spell it out for you as we think you have probably encountered this before your self. I don’t know if this is a global phenomenon but I suspect that even gays in the USA will have had this type of encounter in the dark, in a cinema, watching movies. No, not a BJ in the Cineplex toilettes! No, not a sneaky hand job with your cock poking through a hole in the base of a jumbo popcorn bucket!
Actually have you ever tried poking your cock through a hole in the bottom of a popcorn bucket? By preference, we’d recommend you do it with a full sized family bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken, while it is still hot. Remember to remove the plastic cutlery first, unless you like it that way. Amazing how handy those moisture wipes can be!
Sorry, small digression in grease, holes and food fantasies, back to the main post.
Imagine the scene with us. You and your ‘Boyfriend-du-Jour’ or ‘Rug-Munch-al-la-Moment’ if you’re a lezza – have happily sat down in your perfect seat. You’re about to watch a brilliant movie that you have been looking forward to seeing for ages. Every thing is cool, you’re comfortable, the lights have gone down, the trailers have finished and the movie starts. You are totally into the movie, things are exciting and, then your seat is moved from behind. It starts ever so slightly, but rapidly gaining boldness with foot pressure - the seat is being fucked about with and it blows the whole enjoyment process to pieces.
Have you ever noticed it is the same silly blond haired teen ho bitch each time? Not literally the same silly bitch* but the kinda bitch that fits the exact same description. Call ‘em “Pimple Tits” for short
The type of bleach blond silly little girl that only got rid of her training bra by stuffing dried up fried breakfast eggs sunny side up, in to her wonder-bra. Yes she is cute as a button. Yes she has a cute boy friend with her, who incidently is like a little pixy. Fact is the boyfriend is always very, very fuckable, but there he is, sat with ‘Pimple Tits’. What ‘Pixy Boy’ (as they shall be hence known as) is unaware of is that ‘Pimple Tits’ is psychotic. ‘Pimple Tits’ wants to start the argument but wants her ‘Pixy Boy’ to finish the (what she’s hoping) fight for her!
Being gay releases you from all the fake gender respect. Just because ‘Pimple Tits’ is cute, won’t stop this ‘Big Bad Puff’ from turning around and telling her to get her “fucking feet off my chair Pimple Tits!”
* The only exception to this rule occurred over the course of a year’s cinematic viewing at the UCI Cinema in Lea Valley, where a particular ‘really-really-psychotic-Pimple Tits’ had to spout inane nonsense throughout the entirety of three movies. All through the movies she either repeated everything the actors said or tried to guess the out come of the scene, while talking at volume so every one in the cinema could hear her. Given that this ‘really-really-psychotic-Pimple Tits’ had an impressively large, strong, Black boyfriend, we of course, sat there without fuss (after all we are Gay Sci-Fi Nerds and we don’t carry guns or knives). The third time ever so loud ‘really-really-psychotic-Pimple Tits” started up, we had our own secret weapon - another girl! In fact we had the company of a younger female sibling, who had no hesitation in telling the bitch to “shut the fuck up!”
She did. After that, we never saw or heard them ever again. The moral of the story is, don’t be afraid to take your younger sister with you when there is a man’s job to be done! Have you had endure a ‘Pimple Tits’ trying to get her cute ‘Pixy Boy’ boyfriend into trouble by kicking or talking behind you? Share your stories with us the Mopod Show. You can always catch Skip and Drew babbling inanely on their own podcast at http://gayscifinerds.co.uk
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