MoPod Show 2.0 - Gay Comedy Podcast

For years we’ve looked to Ernest Bornine for beauty tips - his beautiful skin, his gentle features… Well today I found a little video where he extends his reach into the health and wellness realm.  He gives the secret to staying young and vibrant.   And if he is correct, I can look forward to a very very very long life.

I’ve become insanely dependent on spell check the past decade or so. I’m not a bad speller, but sometimes in the flow of things my fingers go faster than my brain and I transpose a letter here or there. Sometimes I may even exchange one homophone for another. (heh heh…homophone…heh) Most of the time it doesn’t matter. I just run spell check or in the case of most of my writing it is in informal settings where it isn’t noticed or doesn’t matter. But there are sometimes when there IS no spell check and it DOES matter. For example, if you are a tatoo artist.  I encourage you to ask your tatoo artist for a writing sample before they load up their ink.

My friend Djave pointed out a gallery of pictures to me last week that is as amazing as it is tragic. Not only are there some really unfortunate misspellings, but there are also some people who haven’t learned that photographs rarely translate into tatoos very well. The picture above, I think you will agree, is downright horrifying

See the full gallery of grammatical, spelling, and photographical horrors here.

Sometimes, being responsible and safe when it comes to sex means not being afraid of an awkward moment.  Like when you ask a partner about their HIV status and then try to read their face as they answer, decyphering the difference between an uncomfortable lie and horny pre-sex anxiety.  At that point in time, do you really believe you are getting the most reliable information?  Wouldn’t it be nice to say, oh you’ve been tested recently?  Really…what date?  But that sounds really judgy…even for me.

Enter the STFree card.  Bklyn-based STF promotes responsible tricking with their Safe Sex License, a clinically backed, wallet-sized photo ID.  Here is how the system works- you sign up online, download the clinic verification form and get tested.  Then you mail the results to STF.  Once they receive your results they send a card with your unique member ID and photo.   Then simply hand the card to whomever, reveal your secret password and ID, and tell her to dial the card’s toll free number; he’ll then be privy to the dates and results of your last two HIV/AIDS tests, irrefutable proof that you were disease-free.

Whether you are positive or negative, giving truthful information is important - even when its a bit uncomfortable or might complicate things.  I’m not sure this card is any great panecea, but it does spark discussion about how to best ensure open truthful communication.   What do you think about this card?

I remember when Lasik surgery first emerged on the cosmetic/optometry scene. I was really close to signing up for it, but I’ve always had this thing about people sticking things in my eye. (insert your own joke here). The thought of lasers or blades or anything that could, in the unlikely event of an earthquake or sneeze attack, poke my eyes out forever was just too nightmarish for me to consider.

So it seemed that the closest I would get to laser beams was the laser light show at the cha cha palace.  I have never hesitated to bask in the glow of the light show on the dance floor. I’m not ever going to be known as “the guy who is an awesome dancer”. I fall in line somewhere between the solid gold dancers and an epileptic with good rhythm. But I do love to get myself in the middle of a great dance floor with LOTS of lights and great music. But, now it seems that my eye poking phobia has made its way to the dance floor.

Dozens of partygoers at an outdoor rave near Moscow last week have lost partial vision after a laser light show burned their retinas, Russian health officials said on Monday. Moscow city health department officials confirmed 12 cases of laser-blindness another 17 were registered at a city hospital.

Attendees at the July 5 Aquamarine Open Air Festival in Kirzhach, northeast of Moscow, began seeking medical help, complaining of eye and vision problems, health officials told Reuters. “They all have retinal burns, scarring is visible on them. Loss of vision in individual cases is as high as 80 percent, and regaining it is already impossible,”…Attendees said heavy rains forced organisers to erect massive tents for the all-night dance party, and lasers that normally illuminate upwards into the sky were instead partially refracted into the ravers’ eyes.

So there you are. Yet another reason to keep your eyes closed and pointed toward the floor at gay bars.

During these hot summer months you have to be extra vigilant about your body odor. Let’s face it, most people are aware of their arm pit smell. Its convenient to check and pretty obvious when your b.o. becomes “ripe”. But when it comes to areas to the south, well…it isn’t until things get really bad or when someone goes down there to visit that you realize whether things are fresh and free or cheesy and funky.

Well, worry not any longer, dear mopod peeps because now there is bálla powder for men. Here’s a bit of the product description from their website:

Balla Powder for Men is the ideal anti-chafing and anti-wetness solution for clammy sacks. Guaranteed to prevent the dreaded “bat wing” syndrome, Balla Powder for Men is lightly scented with a masculine fragrance, for anyone else who plans to work in your close quarters. Can be sprinkled into your fudgies for all-day-long comfort and dryness. A fabulous post-workout treatment, Balla Powder for Men can also be used between your cheeks, as well as on fetid feet and aromatic armpits.

I feel a little naive. I’ve never heard of “bat wing” syndrome and I’m frightened by having anything on my body that could be possibly called a “fudgie”. However, I’m intrigued enough to place an order. You never know when you’ll need your sac at its freshest and cleanest.

Seriously…are the diet and exercise gods just fucking with me?  I get up early this morning to take my dog for a walk and begin what I’m hoping will be a very healthy and productive day.  As I get about half way through the walk, I see THIS in a drive way ahead of me.  I almost turned and ran.  However, I think if I had taken off running there would have been a suburban hot dog cart right behind me.  Then as I turned to escape its processed meat goodness…a cotton candy machine would likely jump out. It felt like a new kind of horror movie based on escaping deep fried and sugary temptation.

As I got closer I realized this wasn’t an active food stand with a really bad location.  They were just cleaning it out from the 4th of July weekend.  The woman inside and I made eye contact as I walked by…I quickly looked away fearing that she might invite me over to fry up some dough.

It really bothers me to read stories like this one:

A new report from Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has found that between 2001 and 2006 gay male sex was the largest HIV transmission category in the U.S. and also the only one which recorded an increasing number of HIV/AIDS diagnoses.

• The most affected are gay boys and men between the ages of 13 and 24 years,
• with minorities even more.
• Other factors such as genital herpes could actually double a person’s risk for contracting HIV.
• According to the New York City Health Department’s Bureau of Epidemiology Services 40 percent of New Yorkers with multiple sex partners did not use a condom the last time they had sex.
• Also about 11 percent (610,000 adults) of them had multiple sex partners, a fact that increased their chance of contracting sexually transmitted infections

Seriously, what the hell has happened. It’s like an entire generation of gay men has suddenly lost the ability to perceive history. What has to happen to turn statistics like this around?